by Arc Patron of the Finer Arts, Seamus Neustead
Apparently the AFL’s newest addition to its growing hoard of illegitimate children - known by shadowy magazine AdNews as “Karmichael Hunt’s AFL team” - is on the verge of appointing its first creative agency to market its freaking brand. That’s right the Gold Coast Football “Club”(GCF “C”) has recently invited several agencies to pitch some ideas and the successful agency will be responsible for the “brand positioning” of the new “franchise”. This further evidences our claims about the illegitimacy of this so-called club. The only position that matters to a real football club is where it sits on the ladder and there is no room for odious expressions like “building the business” and “transitioning a new identity to the club”. We only hope that the GCF “C” transitions into oblivion.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Truth and Light
By Arc Culture Warrior - Connie St Croix
The shadowy figures at Death Star Command (AFL) have failed in their bid to see an illegitimate bastard-child into the preliminaries.
This is a devastating loss for Herr Demetriou and his bot munching propagandist Adrian Anderson whose blood stained hands could be seen pulling strings all through the week.
Such is the love these two have for the soulless laissez-faire corporation from Adelaide that they were more than willing to reschedule the preliminary final in order that the Crowbots (should they beat Geelong) would have the maximum amount of recovery time for the Grand Final.
Tough balls says the Arc, who had booked a massive venue for a series of piping hot lectures and game analysis for the properly scheduled 7.30 pm.
It was a difficult position the Arc was placed in, forced to support a traditional, yet loathed team in Collingwood. But it was a position the Arc was more than happy to embrace in order that the devious plans of the AFL were fouled. Let us hope that Geelong take care of the Woodsmen next week however.
Finally, goodbye Crowbots, you illegitimate bastard filth.
Truth and Light shall always reign supreme.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Nothing but Contempt!
By Arc Chieftain for Utter Rage and Uncontrollable Violence - Vinnie the Sausage Banger
For too long channel 7 and the AFL have treated footy fans with nothing but utter contempt. It is long past time that these shadowy figures of evil need to be brought to heel lest nothing changes.
Oh and Spud Frawley sounds like Marty Funkhauser tonight on Before The Game.
Oh and fuck you AFL and Channel 7. We absolutely spit on you, you fucking turd munchers.
The Arcs water tight Finals Analysis
By Arc Progenitor of Finals Prediction - Penthar von Never-Wrong
WESTERN BULLDOGS vs BRISBANE
(Winner to play St Kilda in next weeks Preliminary Final)
The fleet footed Western Bulldogs [or Footscray as the Arc recognises them] have widely been regarded as the 3rd best team of the year but need to win this week to avoid an embarrassing straight sets exit. First year coach, the illiterate Michael Voss, has done a better than expected job getting the barely tolerable contaminated club (subjected to the AFL's odious Structural Merger programme (SMP)) into the second round of the finals. The Arc has entered all the relevant data into their mind computers and concluded with the home ground advantage and a point to prove the Bulldogs should easily account for the Lions who have performed above expectations this year.
The Arc says: Footscray by 51
ADELAIDE V COLLINGWOOD
(Winner to play Geelong in next weeks Preliminary Final)
The Arc of Infinity is all about tradition and heritage and thus has very little time for the Adelaide "Global Holdings" Crows. They are an artificially created abomination with no history and even less honour. They are referred to as a "franchise" in modern AFL-Speak which is appropriate given they share the significance gravitas of a McDonalds restraunt. The Crows, with an assortment of Van Berlo-like trappings, go into this week's match as lukewarm favourites despite leaving out the original Van Berlo Mach I from the side. The fact that they play the loathed Collingwood Magpies this week leaves the Arc with a painful "Sophies Choice" scenario but we must tip the Pies given the fact they are a legitimate traditional club - albeit one we don't like.
The Arc says: Pies by 5
In summary - The Arc is hopeful of a win by 2 traditional football clubs and a blow to the AFL's near complete Death Star of mindless expansionism
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sour Grapes Leaves Taste of Balls in Head Journos Mouth.
By Arc Vice Pro-Consul for attacking pole riding journos - Brigadier Jonathon Spittoon-Fullbrook
Chief football writer for the Herald Sun Mike Sheahan makes a few valid points in this blog.
Probably the most telling for me was his assertion about 'sour grapes' and I most definitely agree that it was sour grapes.
He seems to premise his relationship with those in the football world as being equal; like so many employers arguing that workers conditions should be agreed to under the common law contract. But the crucial difference is that the worker or in this case the 'subject matter' on the end of the story is nowhere near on an equal footing with the power that he has at his disposal.
He also argues in his 'closing statement to the jury' that his “fundamental task /role is to chase/break/report/analyse news." I say he’s being disingenuous here. The fundamental role is to make profits for shareholders through selling copy.
The fact that someone may or may have not beaten them to a story burns journalists to the core and often leads to the 'subject matter' being pilloried in further editions of the high quality journals we have in this country.
The rubbish that spews from the ‘brain’s of football writers is a blight on good taste and standards. The Arc hates your fucking rubbish.
You’re right Mike, most of us won’t side with you on this one, perhaps it’s because we know what journos are about and how they go about it. But that’s not your fault Mike; you’re a product of a corrupt, greedy and grubby system/institution.
Eat Dick.
Probably the most telling for me was his assertion about 'sour grapes' and I most definitely agree that it was sour grapes.
He seems to premise his relationship with those in the football world as being equal; like so many employers arguing that workers conditions should be agreed to under the common law contract. But the crucial difference is that the worker or in this case the 'subject matter' on the end of the story is nowhere near on an equal footing with the power that he has at his disposal.
He also argues in his 'closing statement to the jury' that his “fundamental task /role is to chase/break/report/analyse news." I say he’s being disingenuous here. The fundamental role is to make profits for shareholders through selling copy.
The fact that someone may or may have not beaten them to a story burns journalists to the core and often leads to the 'subject matter' being pilloried in further editions of the high quality journals we have in this country.
The rubbish that spews from the ‘brain’s of football writers is a blight on good taste and standards. The Arc hates your fucking rubbish.
You’re right Mike, most of us won’t side with you on this one, perhaps it’s because we know what journos are about and how they go about it. But that’s not your fault Mike; you’re a product of a corrupt, greedy and grubby system/institution.
Eat Dick.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sophocles' lesson an example how to flōreō
By Arc Convenor of Mythology and Ancient Wisdom, Seamus Neustead
The Richmond Football Club’s fortunes over the past quarter of a century are not without precedent. History provides a litany of examples of periods of enduring success for individuals, groups or institutions followed by periods of abject failure. In many cases there is a full recovery and in some there isn’t.
When it comes to Richmond it is not entirely inappropriate to apply the word crisis to its current situation. The meaning of the word “crisis” comes from medicine and refers to the point in the course of disease when the patient either descends to death or returns to health. The Richmond Football Club has seemingly reached this point and what it does in the coming months will determine whether it descends to virtual death, destined to linger on the bottom of the ladder, occasionally getting within a whisker of the final eight; or whether it returns to health to become a strong and vital player in the Australian Game.
What better opportunity, however, to reflect on history, and on the amazing examples of success and its transience. Perhaps there is no better example than that of Sophocles. Indeed Sophocles is remembered as the most awarded playwright in the dramatic competitions of Athens during the festivals of Lenaea and the Dionysia. Sophocles shot to fame when he took first prize in the Dionysia theatre competition over the reigning master of Athenian tragedy, Aeschylus.
It is well known that Sophocles was a great tragedian whose success endured for a long period of time. Sure you might say Sophocles was a dirty old erastês, or in today’s parlance, a pederast, but he was one of the greatest playwrights of the Ancient world. Aristotle counted Sophocles’ Oedipus the King as the highest achievement in tragedy.
What is not well know about the famous tragedian is that for a time he was considered a bit of a joke among his fellow Athenians, particularly when he turned his hand to another genre, comedy, experimented with dithyramb, and began focusing on the comic, but often banal daily lives of fellow citizens. Given such an extraordinary display of hubris, it is not surprising that commentators at the time, Aristophanes being among the most vocal, began to question Sophocles’ sanity. “Sophocles has clearly lost his marbles!” Aristophanes exclaimed when Sophocles turned up to the Tuesday evening “Marble Madness” round robin competition empty-handed.
How did Sophocles turn it around? He had already introduced the third actor! What other innovations could the master muster? He went back to the drawing board. He introduced skenographia to liven up the set. Further innovations in dramatic structure and character development soon followed. More phallic props were incorporated into the play than ever before.
It was not long before Sophocles was back on top, with foreign rulers inviting him to attend their courts (although he was too proud to accept such extravagances).
It is difficult to imagine a world without Sophocles. No one person has had more influence on the course of history with such profundity and such acuity than that of Sophocles.
No doubt the Richmond Football Club will have Sophocles in mind when it appoints a new coach and sets out its new strategic direction in the coming months.
The Richmond Football Club’s fortunes over the past quarter of a century are not without precedent. History provides a litany of examples of periods of enduring success for individuals, groups or institutions followed by periods of abject failure. In many cases there is a full recovery and in some there isn’t.
When it comes to Richmond it is not entirely inappropriate to apply the word crisis to its current situation. The meaning of the word “crisis” comes from medicine and refers to the point in the course of disease when the patient either descends to death or returns to health. The Richmond Football Club has seemingly reached this point and what it does in the coming months will determine whether it descends to virtual death, destined to linger on the bottom of the ladder, occasionally getting within a whisker of the final eight; or whether it returns to health to become a strong and vital player in the Australian Game.
What better opportunity, however, to reflect on history, and on the amazing examples of success and its transience. Perhaps there is no better example than that of Sophocles. Indeed Sophocles is remembered as the most awarded playwright in the dramatic competitions of Athens during the festivals of Lenaea and the Dionysia. Sophocles shot to fame when he took first prize in the Dionysia theatre competition over the reigning master of Athenian tragedy, Aeschylus.
It is well known that Sophocles was a great tragedian whose success endured for a long period of time. Sure you might say Sophocles was a dirty old erastês, or in today’s parlance, a pederast, but he was one of the greatest playwrights of the Ancient world. Aristotle counted Sophocles’ Oedipus the King as the highest achievement in tragedy.
What is not well know about the famous tragedian is that for a time he was considered a bit of a joke among his fellow Athenians, particularly when he turned his hand to another genre, comedy, experimented with dithyramb, and began focusing on the comic, but often banal daily lives of fellow citizens. Given such an extraordinary display of hubris, it is not surprising that commentators at the time, Aristophanes being among the most vocal, began to question Sophocles’ sanity. “Sophocles has clearly lost his marbles!” Aristophanes exclaimed when Sophocles turned up to the Tuesday evening “Marble Madness” round robin competition empty-handed.
How did Sophocles turn it around? He had already introduced the third actor! What other innovations could the master muster? He went back to the drawing board. He introduced skenographia to liven up the set. Further innovations in dramatic structure and character development soon followed. More phallic props were incorporated into the play than ever before.
It was not long before Sophocles was back on top, with foreign rulers inviting him to attend their courts (although he was too proud to accept such extravagances).
It is difficult to imagine a world without Sophocles. No one person has had more influence on the course of history with such profundity and such acuity than that of Sophocles.
No doubt the Richmond Football Club will have Sophocles in mind when it appoints a new coach and sets out its new strategic direction in the coming months.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Brian Taylor's Pourquoi to the Moon on the Stripes of a Tiger
By Arc Convenor of Mythology and Ancient Wisdom, Seamus Neustead
Just how did the tiger get its stripes? As legend tells it, in the beginning of the Jungle and long before Man (and Woman), all of the Jungle walked together as one, having no fear of one another. There was no drought, but instead a cornucopia and that which was eaten was nothing at all except for leaves and flower, and grass, fruit and bark. The Law of the Jungle was Tha, First of the Elephants. He shaped the Jungle with his trunk and tusks and feet.
However, so the story goes, this was not to last. Presently, disputes over food and then laziness emerged, and each wanted to eat where she lay. At this time Tha, First of the Elephants, was off making new Jungles, and lacking omnipresence he made the First of the Tigers the master and judge of the Jungle in his stead. The Tiger was large and beautiful in colour, and at the time when the Jungle was new, bared no stripe. In matters of dispute, all the Jungle People came to the Tiger without fear or favour, and his word was the Law.
One night there was a dispute between two bucks that was brought before the Tiger who lay amongst the flowers. During the proceedings one of the bucks happened to push the First of the Tigers with his horns, raising the ire of the judge, whereupon the latter, forgetting his solemn position, leapt upon the buck, breaking his neck.
Nobody had died in the Jungle prior to that event and the Tiger, seeing what he had done, absconded to the North to hide in the marshes. The Jungle People, left without judge or master, fell to fighting among themselves. Tha returned to find the young buck dead and enquired as to his assassin. Yielding no answer, he ordered that the trees that hang low, as well as the creepers were to mark the killer of the buck so that the Jungle should know him. Death had been brought into the Jungle.
The Grey Ape was to be next master and judge of the Jungle but he brought only senseless words and foolish talk as he mocked others from high in the trees. Once again Tha returned to discover that there was no Law but this time there was Shame. Tha declared it time for there to be Law that none shall break and that the Jungle People would know Fear. The Jungle People, having not known Fear, were of a mind to question its existence. Tha urged them to seek it.
The buffaloes went out looking and returned to announce that they had found Fear and it was in a cave. The Jungle People went to the cave and discovered there a Thing as described by the buffaloes. His cry filled them with Fear and when they returned to the Jungle they did not lay as one people but went off in tribes, pig with pig, deer with deer, horn to horn, hoof to hoof and so on and so forth.
When word had got to the First of the Tigers, still hiding in the marshes, of the Thing in the cave, he proudly declared that he would go to this Thing and break its neck. The Tiger ran all night to get to the cave but the trees and creepers let down their branches and marked him as he ran, along his back, his flank, his forehead and jowl. Wherever they touched him there was a mark and stripe against his yellow hide. When he came to the cave, the Thing, Fear, put out his hand and named him “the Striped One that comes by night” and the Tiger was afraid and ran away howling.
And that is how the tiger came to get his stripes. A similar story is told to explain how the Richmond Tigers came to be the least successful club of the last quarter of a century. Commentator and former Richmond player Brian Taylor, has repeatedly this year sought to explain Richmond’s woes as a result of poor culture. This culture, he claims, somehow became engrained in the club soon after the 1982 Grand Final loss to Carlton, and has been passed on from player to player through the generations. However, Taylor’s claim amounts to nothing more than an unverifiable and unfalsifiable narrative explanation for the poor on-field results of Richmond. Just as the whale has a tiny throat because a swallowed mariner tied a raft in there to block the whale from swallowing others, the once mighty football club has a lack of success because it fosters mediocrity and lacks a winning culture. Try and spot the more fanciful story. It may be harder than you think.
The Arc of Infinity does not think that this kind of explanation is helpful in trying to restore the Richmond Football Club to the great heights that it had once reached. This kind of explanation gets in the way of identifying real opportunities to overcome the lack of on-field success and implementing real plans and practices that will lead to success.
If Brian Taylor is to be taken seriously, the Richmond Tigers may as well simply ask Tha to restore its power as master and judge of the Jungle.
Just how did the tiger get its stripes? As legend tells it, in the beginning of the Jungle and long before Man (and Woman), all of the Jungle walked together as one, having no fear of one another. There was no drought, but instead a cornucopia and that which was eaten was nothing at all except for leaves and flower, and grass, fruit and bark. The Law of the Jungle was Tha, First of the Elephants. He shaped the Jungle with his trunk and tusks and feet.
However, so the story goes, this was not to last. Presently, disputes over food and then laziness emerged, and each wanted to eat where she lay. At this time Tha, First of the Elephants, was off making new Jungles, and lacking omnipresence he made the First of the Tigers the master and judge of the Jungle in his stead. The Tiger was large and beautiful in colour, and at the time when the Jungle was new, bared no stripe. In matters of dispute, all the Jungle People came to the Tiger without fear or favour, and his word was the Law.
One night there was a dispute between two bucks that was brought before the Tiger who lay amongst the flowers. During the proceedings one of the bucks happened to push the First of the Tigers with his horns, raising the ire of the judge, whereupon the latter, forgetting his solemn position, leapt upon the buck, breaking his neck.
Nobody had died in the Jungle prior to that event and the Tiger, seeing what he had done, absconded to the North to hide in the marshes. The Jungle People, left without judge or master, fell to fighting among themselves. Tha returned to find the young buck dead and enquired as to his assassin. Yielding no answer, he ordered that the trees that hang low, as well as the creepers were to mark the killer of the buck so that the Jungle should know him. Death had been brought into the Jungle.
The Grey Ape was to be next master and judge of the Jungle but he brought only senseless words and foolish talk as he mocked others from high in the trees. Once again Tha returned to discover that there was no Law but this time there was Shame. Tha declared it time for there to be Law that none shall break and that the Jungle People would know Fear. The Jungle People, having not known Fear, were of a mind to question its existence. Tha urged them to seek it.
The buffaloes went out looking and returned to announce that they had found Fear and it was in a cave. The Jungle People went to the cave and discovered there a Thing as described by the buffaloes. His cry filled them with Fear and when they returned to the Jungle they did not lay as one people but went off in tribes, pig with pig, deer with deer, horn to horn, hoof to hoof and so on and so forth.
When word had got to the First of the Tigers, still hiding in the marshes, of the Thing in the cave, he proudly declared that he would go to this Thing and break its neck. The Tiger ran all night to get to the cave but the trees and creepers let down their branches and marked him as he ran, along his back, his flank, his forehead and jowl. Wherever they touched him there was a mark and stripe against his yellow hide. When he came to the cave, the Thing, Fear, put out his hand and named him “the Striped One that comes by night” and the Tiger was afraid and ran away howling.
And that is how the tiger came to get his stripes. A similar story is told to explain how the Richmond Tigers came to be the least successful club of the last quarter of a century. Commentator and former Richmond player Brian Taylor, has repeatedly this year sought to explain Richmond’s woes as a result of poor culture. This culture, he claims, somehow became engrained in the club soon after the 1982 Grand Final loss to Carlton, and has been passed on from player to player through the generations. However, Taylor’s claim amounts to nothing more than an unverifiable and unfalsifiable narrative explanation for the poor on-field results of Richmond. Just as the whale has a tiny throat because a swallowed mariner tied a raft in there to block the whale from swallowing others, the once mighty football club has a lack of success because it fosters mediocrity and lacks a winning culture. Try and spot the more fanciful story. It may be harder than you think.
The Arc of Infinity does not think that this kind of explanation is helpful in trying to restore the Richmond Football Club to the great heights that it had once reached. This kind of explanation gets in the way of identifying real opportunities to overcome the lack of on-field success and implementing real plans and practices that will lead to success.
If Brian Taylor is to be taken seriously, the Richmond Tigers may as well simply ask Tha to restore its power as master and judge of the Jungle.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Nazism Marches on with Demetriou and Co
By Herschel Finklestein Arc Minister for Outing Nazis
Yet again more details emerge of the totalitarian nature of the AFL.
This time the whistle has been well and truly blown by one of the games greats; a man who was on the inside doing his best to maintain the traditions of the Australian Game through his work as a Hall of Fame selector.
Former Richmond great and Hall of Fame Living Legend Kevin 'Hungry' Bartlett quit as a selector for the Hall of Fame amid claims of heavy handed interference on the part of the fascist AFL Commission.
Bartlett is just the latest in a string of selectors who have quit underneath the weight of an oppressive regime that rule the game with an arrogance and bad case of constipation.
Hungry blew the lid on the Commission and the way it interfered in the process of selection of Hall of Fame members when he quit earlier this week. Bartlett spoke of how the Demetriou Junta basically told the panel of selectors who they wanted in the hall of fame and when they wanted them, making a mockery of the selection sub-committee and its function.
Of course this is nothing new. We are all aware how long it took for God to be inducted into the hall of fame. The reason for Gary Ablett not being inducted sooner was because of the interference of the Nazis at the Commission who would not have him inducted because of its of moral outrage and the damage his induction may have done to the image of the corrupt organisation or its 'brand'. Get rooted.
We can only but wonder how long the fascist spank-wads of the AFL will veto the entry of one of the Australian Games greatest centre half-forwards, Wayne 'The Duck' Carey, into the hall of fame.
The Arc encourages all the selectors of the Hall of Fame to quit in protest at the tyranny of the AFL and it's jackbooting ways.
The AFL says 'Jawohl!'
The Arc says ' Nein Danke Fascists!'
Tasty entree generates saliva
By Special Guest writer Gary Lyon as told to Arc Deputy Minister of Ghost Writing Foxy Malmsteen 
Nothing improves the enjoyment and satisfaction of a great meal like a tasty entree. And as the waiter approaches us with the steaming main meal of the 2009 AFL grand final it's a perfect time to reflect on the succulent starter that currently sits partially liquified in a congealed mass at the bottom of our stomachs, preparing to enter our intestines.
The epic Saints Cats clash was the prawn cocktail to the final weekend in September's rump steak - smaller and less filling by comparison - yet a vital part in the overall dining experience of the season as a whole. Sure it's a little pricey for what you get - but quality seafood does come at a price premium and it's certainly not going to bother me with the coin I'm on.
This finger licking entree swiftly eradicated memories of the North v Essendon clash earlier in the year which was akin to burnt piece of garlic bread that due to a rookie error by some young inexperienced apprentice in the kitchen - had been marinated in vinegar and rats piss. It was difficult to endure and certainly not the sort of thing a serious gourmet would be recommending to colleagues.
Why did you even need the garlic bread at all when you knew the exquisite entree would be served shortly thereafter? Christ it's like you've never been fed before! I have serious doubts as to whether you even belong in this AFL season as Restaurant metaphor at all. In fact I'm surprised you didn't just retrieve the half eaten Yeeros from the bin outside and scoff it down without chewing - and of course by that I mean buying a Melbourne membership.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Papa Rellena is still just a stuffed spud.
By Arc Fine Food Critic - Cooky Pudding
We at the Arc often wonder what it would be like to be embarrassed of the captain of your football club. How it would feel to know that the entire football world is laughing at your club because of the choice of your captain. Knowing they’re laughing because your captain is nothing more than a big three course meal of spud.
Of course I’m talking about the Collingwood Football Club and their choice of Nick Maxwell as captain. Surely it is with utter shame and a sense of complete embarrassment that fans of this powerful and traditional club hang their heads at the mere mention of his name. That his name is up there with greats like Nathan Buckley, Lou Richards, Des Tuddenham, Syd Coventry and Tony Shaw (we’re being generous Tony) must surely rankle even the most one-eyed, one toothed, parolee.
The Arc is at a complete loss as to the reasoning behind this decision. What is it about this generous helping of mash that makes him captain material? There is nothing, nothing about Nick Maxwell that would compel the Arc to name him captain of a garbage scow let alone the captain of a powerful football club like Collingwood.
Mr chips runs around the back half of the ground without an opponent game after game collecting cheap and junkinsh touches. On the very odd ocassion when he does get an opponent it is rarely the best forward. Game after game he tries to impose himself as some kind of hard man by beating up on players half his size or young kids playing their first year of football. And have you ever seen him kick for goal? He makes Travis Cloke look like Matthew Lloyd.
I guess this is hardly suprising with a list full of spuds. How is it that Josh Fraser gets the plaudits that he does? For a number one draft pick Josh Fraser is a plate of chips with a side of roast potatos. A flat track bully at best, he performs well against little opposition and splatters like a lump of shit when confronted with some pressure or a half decent opponent.
Travis Cloke, is there any worse set shot in the game? "Hello Miss Shopkeeper, I'd like a giant fuck off packet of Salt & Vinegar chips thanks." He's had two reasonable games; one against a fucking hapless Fremantle and the other against a less than impressive Essendon outfit. He cannot kick goals. And have you heard him speak? He sounds like a bender with a speech impediment who is about to cry.
The fickle media fall all over these players and praise them for something they are defintely not.
Papa Rellena is still just a stuffed spud.
And so it goes.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Pigs Arse John!
By Arc Chief Justice of Justice in the Australian Game and correcting behaviour of the destroyers of the Australian Game - Grand Moff Gout
The Arc has ALWAYS questioned the integrity of the Carlton Football Club and recent events have only served to prove that the Arcs wisdom inestimable.
In the last few days that imperialist tool of the Capitalist Running Dogs John Elliot revealed that under his stewardship he paid 'hush money' to several 'sheilas' who alleged they had been sexually assaulted by Carlton players over the years.
This kind of behaviour (and the obvious high regard that Elliot and Carlton hold women) is undeniably reprehensible. One wonders what other skeleton this club has in the rats lair of its history. One only need to kick the door in and the whole filthy rotten structure will fall down.
They tanked to get draft picks. They breached the salary cap to in effect buy flags. They are Carlton. They use the corrupt and exploitative tools of the capitalist class to manage their dodgy affairs (the Arc shed no tears for the passing of that vile exploiter Dick Pratt)
When will the buffoons at AFL house learn that this club is beyond saving? When will they learn that punitive, yet fair, legislation needs to be passed to correct this rotten club?
The Arc proposes thus:
Carlton to be stripped of all its points for the season.
Carlton players not be permitted to wear boots during the game
Umpires to pay one free kick for every player wearing a Carlton jumper during the course of a game.
All gate takings from Carlton home matches donated to the Arcs "Truth in Umpiring Fund"
As keepers of the Sacred Parchments of the Australian Game, the Arc of Infinity has a moral duty to ensure the game remains pure.
Carlton are hurting the game.
If there is something that the Arc is unable to comprehend it is the doubters out there. The doubters who have the temerity to question the wisdom the Arc possesses about not only the Australian Game but the world at large.
The Arc has ALWAYS questioned the integrity of the Carlton Football Club and recent events have only served to prove that the Arcs wisdom inestimable.
In the last few days that imperialist tool of the Capitalist Running Dogs John Elliot revealed that under his stewardship he paid 'hush money' to several 'sheilas' who alleged they had been sexually assaulted by Carlton players over the years.
This kind of behaviour (and the obvious high regard that Elliot and Carlton hold women) is undeniably reprehensible. One wonders what other skeleton this club has in the rats lair of its history. One only need to kick the door in and the whole filthy rotten structure will fall down.
They tanked to get draft picks. They breached the salary cap to in effect buy flags. They are Carlton. They use the corrupt and exploitative tools of the capitalist class to manage their dodgy affairs (the Arc shed no tears for the passing of that vile exploiter Dick Pratt)
When will the buffoons at AFL house learn that this club is beyond saving? When will they learn that punitive, yet fair, legislation needs to be passed to correct this rotten club?
The Arc proposes thus:
Carlton to be stripped of all its points for the season.
Carlton players not be permitted to wear boots during the game
Umpires to pay one free kick for every player wearing a Carlton jumper during the course of a game.
All gate takings from Carlton home matches donated to the Arcs "Truth in Umpiring Fund"
As keepers of the Sacred Parchments of the Australian Game, the Arc of Infinity has a moral duty to ensure the game remains pure.
Carlton are hurting the game.
Monday, June 22, 2009
You shall not pass!!!!!
by Arc High Performance Manager Foxy Malmsteen
The Arc of Infinity is pleased to report the resounding success of the years first official sitting of the bi-annual "Enquiries into the Misappropriation of the Spirit of The Australian Game at the hands of the corrupt and shadowy figures of the Australian Football League and the fraternity of umpire banditry" which took place recently in the traditional surrounds of the nations capital. As always, the function of these formal gatherings (coined "homo holidays" by the rather vulgar Lady Malmsteen] is to broadly discuss the state of the game, expose flaws in the Demetriou/Anderson/Geishen axis of evil and test the individual members kicking efficiency and gut running capabilities.
Formalities began on Friday night at the Ainslie Footy Club, where the Arc assembled before the big screen following the traditional Vietnamese banquet. The Saints / Carlton blockbuster was a lively affair, punctuated by the world's most annoying Carlton supporter [a bold call I know] repeatedly doing a Rex Hunt "yibadda yibbada" following each Blues goal [now see what I mean?]. Why someone would wish to enrage the Arc in such a manner and consequently put his life in danger was a mystery to all. Fortunately the Arc used it's legendary powers of meditation to transcend the annoyance and channelled it's energies into drafting the 2009 all Australian team. The documentation has been forwarded to Gerard Healy with the expectation it's recommendations be followed implicitly. The Arc will know if it has been dishonoured if Dan Jackson fails to make the side.
Later that night the Arc encountered what can charitably be described as a fucking dickhead clad in a druids robe brandishing a staff on a median strip. Even the Arc's incontestable wisdom was at a loss as to what the fuck he was up to.
Come Saturday and it was time to support grass roots footy. Unlike some jack booted, ivory tower residing, lord of darkness AFL supremos we could mention - the Arc is not too big to get along to local leagues playing at piss ant grounds with third world facilities at a standard which is flat out embarrassing. In this case it was the hard running Ainslie 3rds taking on the might of the Murrumbidgee Juggernauts in the ACT AFL 3rd division. The Arc was looking forward to observing a young prodigy by the name of Alex "Mad Dog" MacKenzie who they viewed as the line breaking ace up the Ainslie sleeve. The Arc believed the attack dog would be best utilised if played one out in the goal square with some limited time on the ball as a burst player.
This view was unfortunately not shared by Ainslie coach Trev who dropped Macca to water running duties. Needless to say this foolish example of Trevistic coaching principles gone mad came back to boot Trev in the nuts as Murrumbidgee Juggernauts smashed the Ainslie Roo's by a fucking shitload (the Arc is embarrassed to put a figure to it, that and the Beards abacus cannot calculate such a high total). The Arc could only shake it's collective head on the sidelines and ponder the absurdity of those who ignore it's prudent advice.
Later that evening the Arc reconvened at the Ainslie footy club to observe a titanic struggle between the West Coast and Richmond powerhouses. The game provided much entertainment with Luke McGuane and Dan Jackson's silky kicking skills providing a rich cocktail of horror and hilarity. Fortunately the power of good prevailed and the one sided and parochial Richmond crowd saw the Tiges get home.
Sadly the trip home was underwhelming in comparison to the previous evening as Flogram - Lord of the Median Strip had been held up at the battle of Helm's Deep and was nowhere to be seen.
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Sword of Attila strikes at so-called Fourth Estate's standards
By Arc Praefectus Kunstkritiker Seamus Neustead
As readers would be aware, the Arc of Infinity is committed to the pursuit of Justice and Truth. While it is clear that the esteemed Arc has high regard for the virtues of integrity and honesty in intellectual discourse, it is not clear that Australian Football’s so-called Fourth Estate shares that regard. In fact, it is painfully obvious that Football journalists are nothing more than deceitful, lying, cheating rodents who dare to put their pen to paper in order to inspire in unsuspecting readers inclinations of mediocrity, shame and prejudice.
One such example of a small and furry, experimental subject is the frothy-mouthed Herald-Sun reporter, Damian Barrett. Barrett’s sole role at the HUN is to muckrake and slander. One can imagine him ponderously searching through the court listings of a daily rag for an opportunity to speculate upon a potential breach of the salary cap.
Barrett holds about as much credibility as a gossip columnist and is about as popular as an old Soviet Union Tractor. After confessing on a television show that he did not cover Football games, Arc-sanctioned Legend of the Australian Game, Matthew Richardson, helpfully suggested that Barrett get out of his cozy office and go down to a training session to see how a club actually operates. Barrett’s response was about as clever as a Kevin Rudd colloquialism and was instantly met with scorn. No doubt his presence down at Punt Road would be as welcome as one.
It is clear that Barrett does not watch Australian Rules Football. Nor does he have any interest in advancing knowledge about the game through accurate reporting and timely analysis. He contributes nothing to public debate on the issues that really matter.
As readers would be aware, the Arc of Infinity is committed to the pursuit of Justice and Truth. While it is clear that the esteemed Arc has high regard for the virtues of integrity and honesty in intellectual discourse, it is not clear that Australian Football’s so-called Fourth Estate shares that regard. In fact, it is painfully obvious that Football journalists are nothing more than deceitful, lying, cheating rodents who dare to put their pen to paper in order to inspire in unsuspecting readers inclinations of mediocrity, shame and prejudice.
One such example of a small and furry, experimental subject is the frothy-mouthed Herald-Sun reporter, Damian Barrett. Barrett’s sole role at the HUN is to muckrake and slander. One can imagine him ponderously searching through the court listings of a daily rag for an opportunity to speculate upon a potential breach of the salary cap.
Barrett holds about as much credibility as a gossip columnist and is about as popular as an old Soviet Union Tractor. After confessing on a television show that he did not cover Football games, Arc-sanctioned Legend of the Australian Game, Matthew Richardson, helpfully suggested that Barrett get out of his cozy office and go down to a training session to see how a club actually operates. Barrett’s response was about as clever as a Kevin Rudd colloquialism and was instantly met with scorn. No doubt his presence down at Punt Road would be as welcome as one.
It is clear that Barrett does not watch Australian Rules Football. Nor does he have any interest in advancing knowledge about the game through accurate reporting and timely analysis. He contributes nothing to public debate on the issues that really matter.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The AFL Umpiring Fraternity and their hatred of Humanity
By Arch Deacon of YouTube embedment Foxy Malmsteen
Last year Monfries International [the Arc of Infinity entertainment division] released the critically acclaimed but poorly distributed action film Bazbot Apocalypse. Here is the E News piece on the film...
At the time many pundits praised the performances of the two leads Nathan St John and Twiggy Rothschild however dismissed the plot as fanciful.
Was it though? Was it really?
On the weekend Swans baritone spearhead Barry Hall once again suffered an onfield brain explosion and once again we inched closer to the horrifying reality of a big bad bustling bazbot apocalypse as foretold in the aforementioned cinematic thrill ride.
It's all too easy to blame our imminent Hall based ruination on the man himself however the Arc believes it is time to reveal the true source of the horrific and inevitable chain of events that will surely destroy us all.
We speak naturally of the multi coloured soft bodied legless larvae whose weekly attempts to flaunt themselves at the expense of our great game is driving every sound minded football fan into a psychotic tail spin Barry himself would be proud to call his own.
Umpires.
The series of 50 metre penalties handed to Hall on the weekend was a classic case of shrill over officiating from a sexually frustrated bed wetting matron fetishist. His over zealous and attention seeking tizz completely ruined what was a perfectly enjoyable game of football and in the process expedited the arrival of a robotic armageddon that will leave our planet a smoking blackened husk.
We hope you're happy Geishen.
It's not the first time the AFL umpiring fraternity has raised the Arc's collective ire and despite numerous sternly worded communiques to the Geish the protests appear to be falling on deaf ears - which is little suprise given the range of damaged senses these buffoons clearly possess and exhibit to a national audience on a weekly basis.
The Arc shall continue to highlight the irresponsible and reckless disregard to the welfare of the game and by extension our dear planet earth however will anyone ever listen?
And if they do will it be too late?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Keep it simple with Tony Shaw
By Arc of Infinity Arts reporter Foxy Wilkins
The Arc often ponders the big questions and they don't come any bigger than "what sort of cinematography does ex Collingwood skipper come wordsmith Tony Shaw enjoy?" Thanks to some insight provided in todays Saints v North clash the answer has been revealed.
As vision of a kick in was rendered via a fixed behind the goals camera looking directly down the ground, Shaw commented "Oh what magnificent camera work".
One can only deduce the vertically challenged D Fens haircut enthusiast cares not for the showy mobile lensing favoured by your Scorseses and DePalmas. Nor would he appreciate the kinetic high energy editing synonymous with Guy Ritchie or Tony Scott.
Nope the Arc is convinced Tony Shaw is much more an appreciator of the clinical, static framing of Austrian Michael Haneke or the unobtrusive indie stylings of Gus Van Sant. Perhaps in lighter moments he'd favour the uncomplicated approach of a Kevin Smith joint, happy to let the script and performances sell the film rather than overt intrusion from the director.
Thank fuck that's settled.
The Arc's Big Footy ban a victory for Nazism
by Junior Vice President of Gut Running Foxy Malmsteen
The withering intellect and candid honesty of The Arc has intimidated, mesmerized and confounded many since it's glorious formation. Yet the truth is the Arc is not designed to frighten - but enlighten, a phrase that not only encapsulates their charter but would also make an excellent pop song should the Arc ever wish to put their not inconsiderable musical gifts towards that end.
Sure the Arc can be known to use the occasional stern phrase in appraising umpiring decisions, AFL house mandates and the existence of Simon Wiggins, however it is up to the subject of these criticisms to respond accordingly. By acknowledging the Arc's superior knowledge in the particular area/s and changing their behaviour accordingly a suitable outcome may be reached satisfactory to all parties.
Which brings us to popular AFL forum BigFooty. The Arc looks kindly on BigFooty's endeavours - fostering dialogue and debate on the game we all love - and sees it as a watered down, mildly retarded, half cocked version of the Arc itself only with drivel and o.c. disorders instead of acumen and prescience.
So you can imagine the Arc's collective shock when their newly formed BigFooty identity was banned after a mere handfull of typically forthright and enlightening posts. Grand Beard Neustead attempted reasoning with the petty despot moderators. However, their jack booted ignorance was not to be swayed. As a result - an entire community of mouth breathing train spotters are left to wallow in a sea of mediocrity whilst an invasion fleet of sagacity floats by.
Just like the 1933 Nazi book burnings and the pulping of 300 copies of Max Walker's Caps, Hats and Helmets in November last year, this unsavoury incident is a victory for stupidity over awsomeness and it will not do.
BigFooty has not heard the last of the Arc.
Friday, June 5, 2009
The Untouchables
By Arc Praetor of Contested Possessions Tony Steel
What is it that compels fans to rail against those men in white?
Cries of "Umpires are only human " or "It is the fault of the rules committee and the umpires department for creating rubbish rules and then asking the umpires to interpret them in certain ways" often ring out in the nations footballing media. The Arc only partially subscribes to this chorus of insipid excuse making from a bleating pack of retards that serve up what can loosely be described as journalism.
What is it that compels fans to rail against those men in white?
Some, like tabloid hacksticle Mark Robinson, would say it's simply the fact they're an easy target. Wrong.
Some would say it's because they're simply there. Wrong.
Others would say it's because they make decisions that can and do directly impact on the outcomes of games. Correct.
Couple that with the fact the Capitalist Running Dogs down at AFL Headquarters ensure that virtually no public comment can be made about the petit paddock policemen and you have the fixings of a good old fashion furore.
Some would say it's because they're simply there. Wrong.
Others would say it's because they make decisions that can and do directly impact on the outcomes of games. Correct.
Couple that with the fact the Capitalist Running Dogs down at AFL Headquarters ensure that virtually no public comment can be made about the petit paddock policemen and you have the fixings of a good old fashion furore.
The utter frustration and vehement anger that is derived from incorrect or puzzling scumpiring decisions is something very real and a testament to the passion of those fans and players involved. It also indicates a great failure on the part of the media and the dark hands at AFL HQ.
Cries of "Umpires are only human " or "It is the fault of the rules committee and the umpires department for creating rubbish rules and then asking the umpires to interpret them in certain ways" often ring out in the nations footballing media. The Arc only partially subscribes to this chorus of insipid excuse making from a bleating pack of retards that serve up what can loosely be described as journalism.
The ARC does agree that the majority of the blame needs to be squarely levelled at the AFL, the rules committee and, the fuhrer of the petit-despots, Jeff Gieschen. But the petit-despots do not get off so lightly. It takes a certain type of person to become an umpire, something that the Arc shall analyse in another entry.
The child eating slugs of capital down at the AFL go to great lengths to protect the 'integrity' of umpires. It legislates in order to suppress dissent from those inside the game, coaches, players, club presidents. Indeed in April this year the anger and hatred(lets not shy away from saying what needs to be said for the Arc shall never cower in the face of totalitarianism dressed as democracy) directed towards the petit-despots reached unrivaled proportions with Hawthorn president Jeff Kennett declaring that umpires were "becoming bigger than the game". In response the AFL insisted that Kennett attend umpire school or the club would face a fine of $5000. However Kennett was unrepentant and refused to be brow beaten by the fascists at AFL House and chose to pay the fine out of his own pocket rather than having to attend umpire school.
For the corrupt and illegitimate AFL this was bad news because Kennett's actions had the effect of mobilising public dissent with supporters finally having someone with enough profile willing to air views that mirrored their own (despite the AFL's attempt at suppressing free speech and silencing dissent). Talk back radio stations and letters to the editor all over the country rang out with hails of support for fascist Kennett and his views on the petit-despots.
Kennett succeeded in making the AFL look weak; he waved the AFL's policy on umpires in their face and made them look as stupid as a Robert Walls comment sounds (as the Arc does whenever it makes comment on that foul and sinister organisation. Walls needs no help). The AFL should have known better than to tangle with a consummate political operator. It was a battle it could never win because Kennett's view found a huge ground swell off support and encouraged a wave of dissent. For that, the Arc applauds Kennett; but only for that, he still remains a representative of a parasitic class so vile as to almost place him at the same level as Demetriou and Anderson.
The amount of dissent shocked the oligarchy at the AFL so much so that it retreated. It retreated to a defensive position where it could weather the storm of public outrage. The AFL felt the sting of something that it has little or no control over; collective action; and it feared it. In the face of such anger the AFL did what any parasite does; it convinced those that it exploits that it had solved the problem.
The Arc has learned through dispatches that the AFL issued a secret edict whereby the petit-despots were instructed to 'put the whistle away'(which, as the Arc suspects, would have made the Giesch see red considering he clearly feels that umpires are a part of the game and should be seen and heard) until the dust from the dissent settles.
The Arc welcomes this edict for the football of the last few weeks has been fast, free flowing and devoid of those fuckballs with the whistle paying ludicrous free kicks which no one understands. However like so many issues, the AFL has handled it in a non-transparent and dark manner and is just one of the reasons the Arc of Infinity does not recognise the AFL. We all know that when the heat goes off the befanged warriors of darkness at AFL House will once again instruct the Giesch, and his troop of power mad gangsters, to umpire the game in a shameful way.
The Arc in its capacity as the keeper of the Sacred Parchments of the Australian Game will be ever vigilant and do all in its power to bring the corrupt and shadowy ravens of the other world to justice.
The child eating slugs of capital down at the AFL go to great lengths to protect the 'integrity' of umpires. It legislates in order to suppress dissent from those inside the game, coaches, players, club presidents. Indeed in April this year the anger and hatred(lets not shy away from saying what needs to be said for the Arc shall never cower in the face of totalitarianism dressed as democracy) directed towards the petit-despots reached unrivaled proportions with Hawthorn president Jeff Kennett declaring that umpires were "becoming bigger than the game". In response the AFL insisted that Kennett attend umpire school or the club would face a fine of $5000. However Kennett was unrepentant and refused to be brow beaten by the fascists at AFL House and chose to pay the fine out of his own pocket rather than having to attend umpire school.
For the corrupt and illegitimate AFL this was bad news because Kennett's actions had the effect of mobilising public dissent with supporters finally having someone with enough profile willing to air views that mirrored their own (despite the AFL's attempt at suppressing free speech and silencing dissent). Talk back radio stations and letters to the editor all over the country rang out with hails of support for fascist Kennett and his views on the petit-despots.
Kennett succeeded in making the AFL look weak; he waved the AFL's policy on umpires in their face and made them look as stupid as a Robert Walls comment sounds (as the Arc does whenever it makes comment on that foul and sinister organisation. Walls needs no help). The AFL should have known better than to tangle with a consummate political operator. It was a battle it could never win because Kennett's view found a huge ground swell off support and encouraged a wave of dissent. For that, the Arc applauds Kennett; but only for that, he still remains a representative of a parasitic class so vile as to almost place him at the same level as Demetriou and Anderson.
The amount of dissent shocked the oligarchy at the AFL so much so that it retreated. It retreated to a defensive position where it could weather the storm of public outrage. The AFL felt the sting of something that it has little or no control over; collective action; and it feared it. In the face of such anger the AFL did what any parasite does; it convinced those that it exploits that it had solved the problem.
The Arc has learned through dispatches that the AFL issued a secret edict whereby the petit-despots were instructed to 'put the whistle away'(which, as the Arc suspects, would have made the Giesch see red considering he clearly feels that umpires are a part of the game and should be seen and heard) until the dust from the dissent settles.
The Arc welcomes this edict for the football of the last few weeks has been fast, free flowing and devoid of those fuckballs with the whistle paying ludicrous free kicks which no one understands. However like so many issues, the AFL has handled it in a non-transparent and dark manner and is just one of the reasons the Arc of Infinity does not recognise the AFL. We all know that when the heat goes off the befanged warriors of darkness at AFL House will once again instruct the Giesch, and his troop of power mad gangsters, to umpire the game in a shameful way.
The Arc in its capacity as the keeper of the Sacred Parchments of the Australian Game will be ever vigilant and do all in its power to bring the corrupt and shadowy ravens of the other world to justice.
The Arc of Infinity consults with Richmond about Future Coach
The Arc of Infinity has today confirmed that the Richmond Football Club has been in consultation with its esteemed members in the search for the club’s next coach. Richmond and coach Terry Wallace decided to part ways last Monday after a horror start to the season and weeks of mounting speculation about the coach’s future. Wallace will coach his last game for the club when the Tigers take on the Bulldogs on Friday night it what will no doubt be a mind battle.
Known for its considered objectivity, measured assessments, and relentless pursuit of justice and Truth in Umpiring, the Arc was approached by Richmond to oversee the recruitment process and provide specialist, uninhibited advice to the club. It is not known how many clubs have benefited already from the wise offerings of the Arc but it is rumoured to be many.
Vice Chancellor of Common Sense Foxy Malmsteen is said to emphatically believe the so called “exhaustive process” in anointing the next coach of the RFC should instead be a simple, streamlined procedure that “could be sorted out in the time it takes us to enjoy a meal at the London Tavern”. Malmsteen informed Tiger powerbrokers the Arc has already put a line through several candidates with whom “merely opening their resumes would be a gross misuse of our valuable time”.
Through such actions the Arc has once again displayed its undeniable commitment to justice and integrity and the rightful custodianship of the spirit of Australian Rules Football. His Royal Beardness of The Arc, Beard Seamus Neustead confirmed that “the Arc has for some time harboured serious concerns about the AFL’s apparent malpractice in its treatment of Victorian based clubs such as Richmond. We have long suspected that what motivates these greedy suited men at AFL headquarters is an irrational desire for profitability, disclosed discursively in its phraseology of “growing the game”, and its program to establish clubs in new “markets”, clearly at the expense of existing clubs.”
Noting a plethora of examples of AFL interference in the affairs of the Richmond Football Club, such as its intervention in the Tigers’ recruitment of Tony Lockett, who the AFL had destined for Sydney, the Arc was keen to get involved and right the intolerable wrongs of the past.
Arc Grand Wizard of Forthright Comment Tony Steel concluded that “The AFL is a shadowy organisation that pedals its own filthy, grubby, fly blown agenda with little regard for the game and the damage it does to it. We simply do not recognise the AFL administration as the legitimate keeper of the game nor the AFL itself for that matter. It is an organisation full of shadowy figures, capitalist lackey’s, lawyers and sycophants who continue to damage the institution of Australian Football through pandering to its corporate masters. We are consulting with Richmond not only to help them find a coach but also in order that the blood stained hands of the AFL stay away from the clubs process as much as possible.”
Members of The Arc of Infinity will be available for comment whenever requested (except when Magnum P.I. is on TV1).
For further information about The Arc of Infinity and its forthright views on football go online to http://thearcofinfinity.blogspot.com/ or email thearcofinfinity@gmail.com
Known for its considered objectivity, measured assessments, and relentless pursuit of justice and Truth in Umpiring, the Arc was approached by Richmond to oversee the recruitment process and provide specialist, uninhibited advice to the club. It is not known how many clubs have benefited already from the wise offerings of the Arc but it is rumoured to be many.
Vice Chancellor of Common Sense Foxy Malmsteen is said to emphatically believe the so called “exhaustive process” in anointing the next coach of the RFC should instead be a simple, streamlined procedure that “could be sorted out in the time it takes us to enjoy a meal at the London Tavern”. Malmsteen informed Tiger powerbrokers the Arc has already put a line through several candidates with whom “merely opening their resumes would be a gross misuse of our valuable time”.
Through such actions the Arc has once again displayed its undeniable commitment to justice and integrity and the rightful custodianship of the spirit of Australian Rules Football. His Royal Beardness of The Arc, Beard Seamus Neustead confirmed that “the Arc has for some time harboured serious concerns about the AFL’s apparent malpractice in its treatment of Victorian based clubs such as Richmond. We have long suspected that what motivates these greedy suited men at AFL headquarters is an irrational desire for profitability, disclosed discursively in its phraseology of “growing the game”, and its program to establish clubs in new “markets”, clearly at the expense of existing clubs.”
Noting a plethora of examples of AFL interference in the affairs of the Richmond Football Club, such as its intervention in the Tigers’ recruitment of Tony Lockett, who the AFL had destined for Sydney, the Arc was keen to get involved and right the intolerable wrongs of the past.
Arc Grand Wizard of Forthright Comment Tony Steel concluded that “The AFL is a shadowy organisation that pedals its own filthy, grubby, fly blown agenda with little regard for the game and the damage it does to it. We simply do not recognise the AFL administration as the legitimate keeper of the game nor the AFL itself for that matter. It is an organisation full of shadowy figures, capitalist lackey’s, lawyers and sycophants who continue to damage the institution of Australian Football through pandering to its corporate masters. We are consulting with Richmond not only to help them find a coach but also in order that the blood stained hands of the AFL stay away from the clubs process as much as possible.”
Members of The Arc of Infinity will be available for comment whenever requested (except when Magnum P.I. is on TV1).
For further information about The Arc of Infinity and its forthright views on football go online to http://thearcofinfinity.blogspot.com/ or email thearcofinfinity@gmail.com
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The Arc of Infinity Rubber Stamps Bomber Bid for Stand Alone VFL Side
The Arc of Infinity today granted leave for the Essendon Bombers to dump Bendigo as its affiliate in the VFL and enter a stand alone team in Victoria’s premiere state competition next year.
The Arc firmly believes that Bombers listed players are having massive harm wrought upon them by being forced to play with a side that couldn’t win an argument with Michael Voss and his commanding use of the English language.
His Royal Beardness of The Arc, Beard Seamus Neustead said today that “The alignment betwixt the two aforementioned football clubs, which began in 2003, is no longer a tenable one. Essendon is no longer favourably disposed toward the alignment on the basis that Bendigo does not provide a sufficient and appropriate competitive base for AFL listed players to develop, regain form, or prepare in mind and body for AFL level football.”
The Arc also intimated that the AFL are not the keepers of the sacred parchments of footballing lore and should not use the power they have attained through ill-gotten means to censure or block the request from one of the Spiritual Clubs of the game.
“It is a sad state of affairs when such a powerful and proud club has to send its players to the footballing equivalent of the gas chambers at Auschwitz every week.” said Arc Grand Wizard of Forthright Comment Tony Steel.
His Royal Beardness, Beard Neustead went on to add “So that such a proposal not be firmly met with refusal without reserve or disguise by the lordships at AFL Headquarters, the Arc of Infinity would be most pleased to offer its judgment, where it be surely welcomed, in support of Essendon’s proposal.”
Vice Chancellor of Common Sense Foxy Malmsteen concluded that “The sole focus of VFL scheduling should be it’s accessibility to the Arc during its Melbourne visitations. The Arc provide their revered wisdom on players, clubs and umpiring decisions as a courtesy to the VFL and it would be appreciated if some of the same courtesy be returned - rather than the metaphoric water boarding we receive by having to travel to hillbilly whistle stops such as Bendigo.”
Members of The Arc of Infinity will be available for comment whenever requested (except for tea time)
The Arc firmly believes that Bombers listed players are having massive harm wrought upon them by being forced to play with a side that couldn’t win an argument with Michael Voss and his commanding use of the English language.
His Royal Beardness of The Arc, Beard Seamus Neustead said today that “The alignment betwixt the two aforementioned football clubs, which began in 2003, is no longer a tenable one. Essendon is no longer favourably disposed toward the alignment on the basis that Bendigo does not provide a sufficient and appropriate competitive base for AFL listed players to develop, regain form, or prepare in mind and body for AFL level football.”
The Arc also intimated that the AFL are not the keepers of the sacred parchments of footballing lore and should not use the power they have attained through ill-gotten means to censure or block the request from one of the Spiritual Clubs of the game.
“It is a sad state of affairs when such a powerful and proud club has to send its players to the footballing equivalent of the gas chambers at Auschwitz every week.” said Arc Grand Wizard of Forthright Comment Tony Steel.
His Royal Beardness, Beard Neustead went on to add “So that such a proposal not be firmly met with refusal without reserve or disguise by the lordships at AFL Headquarters, the Arc of Infinity would be most pleased to offer its judgment, where it be surely welcomed, in support of Essendon’s proposal.”
Vice Chancellor of Common Sense Foxy Malmsteen concluded that “The sole focus of VFL scheduling should be it’s accessibility to the Arc during its Melbourne visitations. The Arc provide their revered wisdom on players, clubs and umpiring decisions as a courtesy to the VFL and it would be appreciated if some of the same courtesy be returned - rather than the metaphoric water boarding we receive by having to travel to hillbilly whistle stops such as Bendigo.”
Members of The Arc of Infinity will be available for comment whenever requested (except for tea time)
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