By Arc Praefectus Kunstkritiker Seamus Neustead
As readers would be aware, the Arc of Infinity is committed to the pursuit of Justice and Truth. While it is clear that the esteemed Arc has high regard for the virtues of integrity and honesty in intellectual discourse, it is not clear that Australian Football’s so-called Fourth Estate shares that regard. In fact, it is painfully obvious that Football journalists are nothing more than deceitful, lying, cheating rodents who dare to put their pen to paper in order to inspire in unsuspecting readers inclinations of mediocrity, shame and prejudice.
One such example of a small and furry, experimental subject is the frothy-mouthed Herald-Sun reporter, Damian Barrett. Barrett’s sole role at the HUN is to muckrake and slander. One can imagine him ponderously searching through the court listings of a daily rag for an opportunity to speculate upon a potential breach of the salary cap.
Barrett holds about as much credibility as a gossip columnist and is about as popular as an old Soviet Union Tractor. After confessing on a television show that he did not cover Football games, Arc-sanctioned Legend of the Australian Game, Matthew Richardson, helpfully suggested that Barrett get out of his cozy office and go down to a training session to see how a club actually operates. Barrett’s response was about as clever as a Kevin Rudd colloquialism and was instantly met with scorn. No doubt his presence down at Punt Road would be as welcome as one.
It is clear that Barrett does not watch Australian Rules Football. Nor does he have any interest in advancing knowledge about the game through accurate reporting and timely analysis. He contributes nothing to public debate on the issues that really matter.
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