The Arc of Infinity today granted leave for the Essendon Bombers to dump Bendigo as its affiliate in the VFL and enter a stand alone team in Victoria’s premiere state competition next year.
The Arc firmly believes that Bombers listed players are having massive harm wrought upon them by being forced to play with a side that couldn’t win an argument with Michael Voss and his commanding use of the English language.
His Royal Beardness of The Arc, Beard Seamus Neustead said today that “The alignment betwixt the two aforementioned football clubs, which began in 2003, is no longer a tenable one. Essendon is no longer favourably disposed toward the alignment on the basis that Bendigo does not provide a sufficient and appropriate competitive base for AFL listed players to develop, regain form, or prepare in mind and body for AFL level football.”
The Arc also intimated that the AFL are not the keepers of the sacred parchments of footballing lore and should not use the power they have attained through ill-gotten means to censure or block the request from one of the Spiritual Clubs of the game.
“It is a sad state of affairs when such a powerful and proud club has to send its players to the footballing equivalent of the gas chambers at Auschwitz every week.” said Arc Grand Wizard of Forthright Comment Tony Steel.
His Royal Beardness, Beard Neustead went on to add “So that such a proposal not be firmly met with refusal without reserve or disguise by the lordships at AFL Headquarters, the Arc of Infinity would be most pleased to offer its judgment, where it be surely welcomed, in support of Essendon’s proposal.”
Vice Chancellor of Common Sense Foxy Malmsteen concluded that “The sole focus of VFL scheduling should be it’s accessibility to the Arc during its Melbourne visitations. The Arc provide their revered wisdom on players, clubs and umpiring decisions as a courtesy to the VFL and it would be appreciated if some of the same courtesy be returned - rather than the metaphoric water boarding we receive by having to travel to hillbilly whistle stops such as Bendigo.”
Members of The Arc of Infinity will be available for comment whenever requested (except for tea time)
The Arc firmly believes that Bombers listed players are having massive harm wrought upon them by being forced to play with a side that couldn’t win an argument with Michael Voss and his commanding use of the English language.
His Royal Beardness of The Arc, Beard Seamus Neustead said today that “The alignment betwixt the two aforementioned football clubs, which began in 2003, is no longer a tenable one. Essendon is no longer favourably disposed toward the alignment on the basis that Bendigo does not provide a sufficient and appropriate competitive base for AFL listed players to develop, regain form, or prepare in mind and body for AFL level football.”
The Arc also intimated that the AFL are not the keepers of the sacred parchments of footballing lore and should not use the power they have attained through ill-gotten means to censure or block the request from one of the Spiritual Clubs of the game.
“It is a sad state of affairs when such a powerful and proud club has to send its players to the footballing equivalent of the gas chambers at Auschwitz every week.” said Arc Grand Wizard of Forthright Comment Tony Steel.
His Royal Beardness, Beard Neustead went on to add “So that such a proposal not be firmly met with refusal without reserve or disguise by the lordships at AFL Headquarters, the Arc of Infinity would be most pleased to offer its judgment, where it be surely welcomed, in support of Essendon’s proposal.”
Vice Chancellor of Common Sense Foxy Malmsteen concluded that “The sole focus of VFL scheduling should be it’s accessibility to the Arc during its Melbourne visitations. The Arc provide their revered wisdom on players, clubs and umpiring decisions as a courtesy to the VFL and it would be appreciated if some of the same courtesy be returned - rather than the metaphoric water boarding we receive by having to travel to hillbilly whistle stops such as Bendigo.”
Members of The Arc of Infinity will be available for comment whenever requested (except for tea time)
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