Crawling up its own arse!

by Arc Patron of the Finer Arts, Seamus Neustead

Apparently the AFL’s newest addition to its growing hoard of illegitimate children - known by shadowy magazine AdNews as “Karmichael Hunt’s AFL team” - is on the verge of appointing its first creative agency to market its freaking brand. That’s right the Gold Coast Football “Club”(GCF “C”) has recently invited several agencies to pitch some ideas and the successful agency will be responsible for the “brand positioning” of the new “franchise”. This further evidences our claims about the illegitimacy of this so-called club. The only position that matters to a real football club is where it sits on the ladder and there is no room for odious expressions like “building the business” and “transitioning a new identity to the club”. We only hope that the GCF “C” transitions into oblivion.

Truth and Light

By Arc Culture Warrior - Connie St Croix

The shadowy figures at Death Star Command (AFL) have failed in their bid to see an illegitimate bastard-child into the preliminaries.

This is a devastating loss for Herr Demetriou and his bot munching propagandist Adrian Anderson whose blood stained hands could be seen pulling strings all through the week.

Such is the love these two have for the soulless laissez-faire corporation from Adelaide that they were more than willing to reschedule the preliminary final in order that the Crowbots (should they beat Geelong) would have the maximum amount of recovery time for the Grand Final.

Tough balls says the Arc, who had booked a massive venue for a series of piping hot lectures and game analysis for the properly scheduled 7.30 pm.

It was a difficult position the Arc was placed in, forced to support a traditional, yet loathed team in Collingwood. But it was a position the Arc was more than happy to embrace in order that the devious plans of the AFL were fouled. Let us hope that Geelong take care of the Woodsmen next week however.

Finally, goodbye Crowbots, you illegitimate bastard filth.

Truth and Light shall always reign supreme.

Nothing but Contempt!

By Arc Chieftain for Utter Rage and Uncontrollable Violence - Vinnie the Sausage Banger

We at the Arc consider ourselves a well balanced and objective collective. But yet again the fascist tools down at AFL house in conjunction with capitalist fuck arses at channel 7 have shit upon us footy fans by not allowing the Dogs v Brisbane final to be shown live on main event in the northern states.

For too long channel 7 and the AFL have treated footy fans with nothing but utter contempt. It is long past time that these shadowy figures of evil need to be brought to heel lest nothing changes.

Oh and Spud Frawley sounds like Marty Funkhauser tonight on Before The Game.

Oh and fuck you AFL and Channel 7. We absolutely spit on you, you fucking turd munchers.

The Arcs water tight Finals Analysis

By Arc Progenitor of Finals Prediction - Penthar von Never-Wrong

WESTERN BULLDOGS vs BRISBANE
(Winner to play St Kilda in next weeks Preliminary Final)
The fleet footed Western Bulldogs [or Footscray as the Arc recognises them] have widely been regarded as the 3rd best team of the year but need to win this week to avoid an embarrassing straight sets exit. First year coach, the illiterate Michael Voss, has done a better than expected job getting the barely tolerable contaminated club (subjected to the AFL's odious Structural Merger programme (SMP)) into the second round of the finals. The Arc has entered all the relevant data into their mind computers and concluded with the home ground advantage and a point to prove the Bulldogs should easily account for the Lions who have performed above expectations this year.
The Arc says: Footscray by 51

ADELAIDE V COLLINGWOOD
(Winner to play Geelong in next weeks Preliminary Final)
The Arc of Infinity is all about tradition and heritage and thus has very little time for the Adelaide "Global Holdings" Crows. They are an artificially created abomination with no history and even less honour. They are referred to as a "franchise" in modern AFL-Speak which is appropriate given they share the significance gravitas of a McDonalds restraunt. The Crows, with an assortment of Van Berlo-like trappings, go into this week's match as lukewarm favourites despite leaving out the original Van Berlo Mach I from the side. The fact that they play the loathed Collingwood Magpies this week leaves the Arc with a painful "Sophies Choice" scenario but we must tip the Pies given the fact they are a legitimate traditional club - albeit one we don't like.
The Arc says: Pies by 5

In summary - The Arc is hopeful of a win by 2 traditional football clubs and a blow to the AFL's near complete Death Star of mindless expansionism