The off season has been marred by the treacherous and vile Gold Coast entity actively seeking to poach star players from legitimate clubs within the heartland. Their shameless efforts to poach rising Tiger star Trent Cotchin would have tempted a less noble young gentleman however as the Arc expected he chose the path of goodness and light over the cheap tawdry baubles and snakeskin oil offered by the northern flim flammers. Our only regret is that Trent failed to notify the Gold Coast of his intentions via an envelope filled with faeces as per the Arc's suggestion.
Of course, Guy McKennas dead eyed zombie horde continues to march and are still desperately clutching at the living tissue of footballing legitimacy. The mainstream media watch on as Gaz Junior is tempted with piles of unclean sheckles unscrupulously shoveled to them by the hated AFL with nary a whimper of protest. Where is the molten outrage at this assault on common decency? Oh that's right - they are too busy concentrating their hand wringing on Brendan Fevola's lack of class [Next week in the Herald Sun: We discuss how the sun is hot] and Matthew Stokes addiction to 'ludes. Get a grip Sheehan and co.
As it is written in The Sacred Parchments of the Australian game, The Arc has locked itself deep in the bowels of The Grand Chamber of The Arc of Infinity Senate for the past 16 weeks. It has cast a wide net of hot crystal ballage over the coming season to provide you with an accurate and perceptive summary of what should and what will unfold during the course of the year.
There are many things that can change over the off season, players move to different clubs, different coaches, different rules implemented by a dark and shadowy regime. But there are a number of things that remain a constant:
Robert Walls is still a fuck bucket
The AFL remains a corrupt, morally bankrupt, fascisto-capitalist murder of imperialist running dogs
We love Max Rooke
Carlton are despicable
Collingwood are despicable
West Coast are illegitimate
Robert Walls is still a fuck bucket
Adelaide are illegitimate
The Gold Coast ‘franchise’ is offensive and in direct contravention of the Sacred Parchments
The second Sydney team is an affront to good taste, intelligence and football fans the world over
Essendon and Richmond will suffer at the hands of the Scumpire’s again this season
Robert Walls is still a fuck bucket
Mike Sheahan’s Top 50 players list is a contemptible puddle of dog’s vomit.
We Love Max Rooke
What should rightfully happen:
Robert Walls Remains a fuck bucket
Carlton fail miserably
Collingwood fail miserably
We continue to love Max Rooke
West Coast fail because of their illegitimacy
Adelaide fail because of their illegitimacy
Hawthorn fail because they are Hawthorn and Jeff Kennett is their president
Richmond and Essendon are declared joint premiers
Umpires are tortured whenever they make a wrong decision, and in extreme cases, placed on the sex offenders register.
