The Arc of Infinity has today confirmed that the Richmond Football Club has been in consultation with its esteemed members in the search for the club’s next coach. Richmond and coach Terry Wallace decided to part ways last Monday after a horror start to the season and weeks of mounting speculation about the coach’s future. Wallace will coach his last game for the club when the Tigers take on the Bulldogs on Friday night it what will no doubt be a mind battle.
Known for its considered objectivity, measured assessments, and relentless pursuit of justice and Truth in Umpiring, the Arc was approached by Richmond to oversee the recruitment process and provide specialist, uninhibited advice to the club. It is not known how many clubs have benefited already from the wise offerings of the Arc but it is rumoured to be many.
Vice Chancellor of Common Sense Foxy Malmsteen is said to emphatically believe the so called “exhaustive process” in anointing the next coach of the RFC should instead be a simple, streamlined procedure that “could be sorted out in the time it takes us to enjoy a meal at the London Tavern”. Malmsteen informed Tiger powerbrokers the Arc has already put a line through several candidates with whom “merely opening their resumes would be a gross misuse of our valuable time”.
Through such actions the Arc has once again displayed its undeniable commitment to justice and integrity and the rightful custodianship of the spirit of Australian Rules Football. His Royal Beardness of The Arc, Beard Seamus Neustead confirmed that “the Arc has for some time harboured serious concerns about the AFL’s apparent malpractice in its treatment of Victorian based clubs such as Richmond. We have long suspected that what motivates these greedy suited men at AFL headquarters is an irrational desire for profitability, disclosed discursively in its phraseology of “growing the game”, and its program to establish clubs in new “markets”, clearly at the expense of existing clubs.”
Noting a plethora of examples of AFL interference in the affairs of the Richmond Football Club, such as its intervention in the Tigers’ recruitment of Tony Lockett, who the AFL had destined for Sydney, the Arc was keen to get involved and right the intolerable wrongs of the past.
Arc Grand Wizard of Forthright Comment Tony Steel concluded that “The AFL is a shadowy organisation that pedals its own filthy, grubby, fly blown agenda with little regard for the game and the damage it does to it. We simply do not recognise the AFL administration as the legitimate keeper of the game nor the AFL itself for that matter. It is an organisation full of shadowy figures, capitalist lackey’s, lawyers and sycophants who continue to damage the institution of Australian Football through pandering to its corporate masters. We are consulting with Richmond not only to help them find a coach but also in order that the blood stained hands of the AFL stay away from the clubs process as much as possible.”
Members of The Arc of Infinity will be available for comment whenever requested (except when Magnum P.I. is on TV1).
For further information about The Arc of Infinity and its forthright views on football go online to http://thearcofinfinity.blogspot.com/ or email thearcofinfinity@gmail.com
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